Are you overwhelmed by motherhood? Take 5-minutes to read these 5 tips to find Mom’Me’ Time in your busy mom life.
Think of the last 10 moms in your life that you’ve talked with recently. When you asked them what’s new or how have you been, I bet I can guess what the response was… Busy.
Mom ‘Me’ Balance
I’m confident in saying Mom ‘Me’ Balance is something every mom is after. Did you know a lack of balance just might be effecting your happiness as a mom? As they say Happy Wife, Happy Life. Well the same goes for us moms…Happy Mom, Happy Home. Above all, you need to put your happiness first. The bottom line is happiness inside you will project happiness around you. I’ve made it a personal goal to make a conscious effort to find balance every day and here’s why.
Let’s break this down mom to mom. As much support as our partners offer, when it comes to feeling overwhelmed in motherhood and trying to balance “doing all the things” only other moms truly get it. I recently listen to a Ted Talk “Why Moms are Miserable” by Sheryl G. Ziegler, Psychologist and family counselor. The words she said were so impactful that I want to spread the word. I believe every mom needs to hear Dr. Ziegler’s words and know you are not alone in feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and sometimes lonely in motherhood. Mommas, take 10-minutes to listen to Why Moms are Miserable.
Dr. Ziegler also published a book Mommy Burnout. Described as the ultimate must-read handbook for the modern mother. A practical and positive tool to help free women from the debilitating notion of being the “perfect mom”. Filled with funny and all too relatable true-life stories and realistic suggestions to stop the burnout cycle. Available in Kindle/hardback/Audible Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process.
Are you Doing it All?
Just the other day on the radio I heard something that resonated with me. This story took me back to this idea of “the problem with no name” described by Dr. Ziegler in her talk and in her book. I listened to this young mom explain how she never knew what her mom was doing every time she ran back into the house. Sometimes twice or even three times when they were trying to get out the door. It used to annoy her. What the heck was her mom doing? She continued to explained once she became a mother herself how quickly she realized that her mom was quite simply “doing it all”. She was turning off the oven, grabbing someone’s sippy cup, feeding the dog, turning on the dryer, grabbing backpacks… In that moment, as I listened to this young mom talk about her mom, I realized that I had the same story. Flashbacks of my mom running into this house felt all too familiar as I find myself doing the same thing. My mom was “doing it all” and now I find myself “doing it all” too.
You know the saying “I’ve become my mother”? Well it’s most likely true and not necessarily bad thing. However in this case, as described by Dr. Z, we as modern moms need to take steps towards breaking the cycle of mommy burnout. How do we do this? We find the “me” in “mommy” by creating Mom ‘Me’ Time for yourself.
Don’t Make it All About Your Kids...
The phrase “it’s all about the kids” often times becomes our reality. The first several weeks, months and even years of motherhood almost every ounce of your being is devoted to caring for your family. All of our energy is centralized around providing the best life possible for the little people who call you mom. Now that my kids are little older (3- and 5-years old) I’ve found that I’m still struggling to find the balance. The balance between being a mom, wife and friend because on most days it is all about the kids. Although it seems like you are doing all the right things by going above and beyond for your kiddos’ happiness; what I’m starting to learn is that this may not be the case.
Consequently, by putting someone else’s happiness first (even your kid’s) we end up not being truly happy ourselves. Believe you me, I would not trade being a mother for the world! My family is and always will be my #1 priority. However, as I grow in motherhood I’ve come to understand the importance of ‘me’ time and so often I see in my mom friend’s busy lives that this is something they too are struggling to find.
For example, on an average weeknight I usually don’t sit down for at least 2-3 hours after coming home. Sound familiar? By the time I get dinner on the table, organize school work, prepare lunches + backpacks for the next day, it’s time to put the kids down. Another half hour (on a good) night and by then it’s 8pm and finally I have a minute to exhale. I am thankful to have a husband who is supportive and willing to help with the kids in the evenings. However, it still doesn’t give me time to go workout, read a book or do anything for myself. This is our reality mommas, but it doesn’t mean you can’t make some changes to your lifestyle. I want to encourage you to find some Mom ‘Me’ Balance and here’s how!
5 Tips to Put the ‘Me’ back in Mommy:
#1 – Find a Passion Point
What excites you and leaves your heart happy? It could be as simple as getting out of bed early and going for a run. Something that you do for you and no one else. For me it’s horses. A couple of years ago I found a equine connection and now I crave horsey time. This brings a different kind of happiness then what I feel when I’m with my kiddos because it’s my Mom ‘Me’ Time.
#2 – Connect with Other Moms
Each phase in life brings new people into our lives. Reach out to a new mom at school or reconnect with an old friend. Be bold and start a book club or Bunco group in your neighborhood! I’m part of a Bunco group of mom’s (young and old) in my neighborhood and I look forward to attending every month. I don’t know most of these women well as we’ve only been meeting monthly for a little over a year, but it’s all about the connections and conversations between us mom.
#3 – Find a Mental Outlet
This is time to quiet your mind of all the clutter. Pick-up a book for 10-minutes a day or if you don’t have time listen to an audibles or podcast in the car. Try meditation or journaling. It will amaze you how much more productive you can be after “turning your brain off” for even just 10-minutes in the middle of the day. I’ve started listening to podcasts on my drive to work and I feel more inspired after each one! There is basically a podcast on just about anything these days so pick something you are passionate about and dive in.
#4 – Plan Date Nights
This is so important! You don’t even need to leave the house. Make an effort to connect with your spouse when the kids go to bed. Instead of hopping onto social media or turning on a show, go sit on your patio or make dinner for two and just talk. About your day, your worries, your dreams – all the things you talked about before kids. This is your person and you fell in love for a reason, find time for each other. My husband and I do a lot of date nights, but sometimes during the week I swear we talk less than 20-minutes to one another through all the kiddo chaos.
#5 – Be Active
Even if you don’t have time to hit the gym every day or even once a week, do something to get your heart pumping, even if it’s only walking around the block 10-minute a day. I know when I’m active that I’m happier. I’m happier with how I feel and how I look.
If you’ve made it to the bottom of the post congrats! You’ve taken the first step to making changes to your lifestyle just by spending 5-minutes to read this post. I’m sure most of these tips seem obvious, but in fact they are easily pushed aside when life becomes busy as a mom. It takes a conscious decision and effort to make these changes.
*If you are a subscriber you can download my Mom’ME’ worksheet printable in the Content Library!
Find your ‘ME’ momma!
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